The 2011 State Fair Fried Food Report!

2011-10-02T18:19:00.000-07:00

Greetings, and welcome to the 2011 State Fair Fried Food Report! The 2009 and 2010 reports are still around, but this one is the brand spanking new report for 2011!

The JohnnyCakes and I went to the State Fair last Friday, and we brought in some bottles of Coca Cola products to get in for CHEAP. (There are discounts, people... You just have to look for them...)

As we walked through the entrance, we grabbed our free samples of toothpaste (YES!!!!), and then we saw the booth for THIS:

Fried Bubblegum MOST CREATIVE - You’ll swear it’s bubblegum! A light as a feather bubble gum flavored marshmallow is dipped in batter and lightly fried to perfection. Decorated with a swirl of icing. A final sprinkling of powdered sugar completes this treat! It will blow you away! Granny’s Funnel Cakes on Coliseum Drive.

Ha!

This was just...icky. I should have known from the sprinkles of bubblegum on this thing that it would be inedible. After forcing Johnny to try one, I grabbed another one, tried to bite into it, felt a squish in my mouth that spelled DANGER! OVERFLOW!, and then just decided to shove the whole thing into my mouth. It was like a blob of pink squish coated in a stale marshmallow coating, and it was WAY too sugary for my taste. Notice how there are three of these things on the stick? Well, we ended up giving the extra one to some Japanese tourists. I hope I don't get sued for Tourist Abuse....

To level out our collective blood sugars, we then decided to head over to Fletcher's and get some corny dogs...


YUM!

Unfortunately, the traditional Flat Dr Pepper accompaniment had to be replaced by lemonade. Fountain drinks are rare at the Fair! Boo Hiss!

The next victim of our Fairgoing experience was this:

Fried Autumn Pie - Fairgoers will fall for this hard to resist puff pastry infused with a scrumptious combination of pumpkin, cream cheese, powdered sugar, and fall spices. Deep fried and rolled in ginger, cinnamon, and sugar. Chicken on a Stick stand located on Nimitz Drive, near the entrance to the Embarcadero.

This was amazing!

Looking at this fried ball of whatever, I really didn't expect much, especially after the concession guy told me that his favorite fried thing was the fried Moon Pie (Yuck!), but after cracking this baby open...

I was introduced to a world of gooey, yummy flavors!

Imagine making a pumpkin cake. With pumpkin cake batter. And then imagine that you just decided to chuck the whole cake-making thing, and decided to just fry up some cake batter balls instead. And then maybe lick the spoon. And the bowl.

This was really, really good. It was like a fried pumpkin cake batter/pudding, full of Thanksgivingy flavor, pumpkiny and yummy. I highly recommend this. A lot.

Next we headed over to the Creative Arts buiding for your favorite and mine (and maybe even Paula Deen's), the Butter Sculpture!!!!

I have a feeling she's about to slip. You know...on the butter...

Isn't it amazing what you can do with an insane amount of dairy products? I think I just heard Paula Deen have a foodgasm...

Well okay then...

Next up, we have what should win this year's award for

Most Disgusting Thing At The Fair:

Ready?

You sure???

Okay.... Don't say I didn't warn you...

Le Fried Chicken Skin

Kids, this is something that you should ONLY eat on a dare.

Deep Fried Chicken Skin – Why bother with all of that meat? The skin has been separated from the chicken to deliver the best part of fried chicken in every mouthful. Available in MILD or HOT & SPICY. This tasty treat is lightly seasoned, battered, and then deep fried until crisp.

Ew. Just.....Ew.

This is not a "treat." This is something that could easily be used to torture prisoners of war into giving up national security secrets. This stuff is VILE.

Where to begin... The texture was all wrong. These had a texture that was somewhere between chewy (leathery) chicken skin and really greasy pork rinds. These things were like grease upon grease upon grease, but with a crispy crunchy coating! Bleargh. We tried to improve bland flavor with honey mustard, but it was watery and of no use. Next we tried ketchup. The ketchup made it a little better, but it was still really, really bad. I wonder if the concession girl saw me gag and spit it out into the trashcan.... Stay away, kids!

(Last year's winner: Fried Beer. aka "Hurl in a Pretzel". )

Next victim:

Buffalo Chicken in a Flapjack BEST TASTE - A buffalo chicken strip is coated in flapjack batter, rolled in jalapeno bread crumbs, deep fried to a golden brown, skewed, and served with a side of syrup. Crowd pleasing appetizer or a meal in itself! inside the Automobile Building and in the Thrill Way.

This was surprisingly good!

In all honesty, if you didn't know the flapjack was there, you'd just think it was a panko-crusted chicken tender on a stick! The jalapeno flavor just gave it a little kick, and it wasn't spicy at all. And the syrup made it taste like chicken candy, in a Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles sort of way... Two thumbs up! Very tasty!

Next up: El Bananarito!

I should have known it would be all hype. Especially after seeing the poster:

This is what you see...

...And this is what you get.

El Bananarito - In case you are wondering, it’s a deep fried banana rolled in a flour tortilla, topped with whipped cream, powdered sugar, a dusting of cinnamon, and a touch of vanilla extract. Top it off with your choice of smooth, hot caramel or decadent chocolate syrup. Funnel Cake stand on Fun Way.

Yeah. That.

I imagine we'll be seeing these all over the place in national chain Mexican restaurants soon. *Yawn.*

Oh, and in case you were wondering, here is a list of my favorite State Fair Fried Foods so far:

Spanakopita. In the food court. Yum. (Okay, so it's not really fried. But still, it's AMAZING.)
Deep fried strawberry chocolate waffle balls!!!!
Deep Fried Fritos Pie.

Oh, and one more thing.... Stay away from the fried beer. For the love.... Gross.

Okay, kids! It's time for this year's Bonus Feature! I call it...

Kreepy Krap on the Midway!!!


I think it wants my soul.

HELP ME MOMMY!!!!

Next we have the Dead-Eyed Eviscerated Bear-Go-Round...

BRAAAAAIIINNNNSSSSSS!!!!


	It carries its very own darkness with it wherever it goes... Also, a codpiece.

Hey Kids! It's Wally the Wall-Eyed Elephant!

Duuuude......!

...Aaaand that's a wrap.

Thanks for reading! Now skeedaddle! Go to the Fair while it lasts, and have fun!

And stay the heck away from the fried beer!

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2011-09-18T20:01:00.001-07:00

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The 2011 State Fair Fried Food Report!

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